Joy Ride

"I can't believe you dented the king's car," said Prompto, exhaling dramatically as he stood up from a low crouch. "I hope they've got a backup noble standing by to take your spot when His Highness totally disowns you, Noctis."

"I didn't dent the king's car!" snapped Noctis. The young prince ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. "I didn't dent the car because..." he glanced to his side, where his bodyguard looked on sternly, arms crossed at his chest. "Because Gladio did. What do you say, buddy?"

"You know I didn't, Noct. And King Regis is gonna know right away when he sees this dent."

Gladiolus didn't even crack a smile at the suggestion, glaring intensely back into the prince's eyes instead. Noctis considered letting him know it was meant as a joke, but decided it would be a wasted effort. He'd already lit the fuse and knew a lecture was on its way.

"If I dented it, everyone would know it. This thing would be destroyed. You couldn't even call it a car at that point—just a mangled metal husk that might have been the Regalia in a past life. I don't mess around with these kinds of machines. I've got one speed: fast. That's why Ignis is your driver." He paused to take a breath. "Also, well, it's pretty obvious the seat is adjusted for someone a lot shorter than I am, and that's the maximum setting. I don't think I could drive the Regalia if I wanted to."

"So it was Ignis then. That's the story we're going with?" Prompto grinned. "I'm okay with it if you guys are, although something tells me Ignis won't want to be branded as the guy who stole the king's favorite car for a joyride." he jerked his head toward the car, where the neatly groomed teen was pacing slowly around the perimeter of the vehicle, stopping occasionally to examine the creased metal and adjust his glasses.

Noctis sighed. "I'll own up. Don't sweat it, guys." He seemed visibly burdened by the responsibility, his shoulders slumping with the weight of it and the consequences to come. "Sometimes it isn't 'all for one and one for all.' We're a team, but you guys don't have to protect me from everything. Just stick with me when you can, at least until we're out of school."

"Are you questioning our loyalty?" 

Gladio's face contorted, his eyes fiery.

"No, that's not— " Noct began.

Ignis stopped his pacing and adjusted his glasses. "I've thought it through." he announced expectantly. 

After a moment, he cleared his throat as if to deliver a final decision, but instead stepped back and punched the Regalia's driver-side door with full force as the rest of the crew looked on stunned. The impact left a neat chunk of the metal collapsed into the frame.

"Nicely done, actually. Look, it's just like the other dent."

"What?!" Prompto cried out, "Have you lost your mind? Now there's two dents and still no decision on who's taking the fall for it!"

"No, I get it now." Gladiolus drew back his arm. "Looks like I—" he cut the remark off with a grunt as he followed suit, slamming his fist into the Regalia's pristine hood, "Was also the one who dented the Regalia!"

Prompto's face lit up with recognition and he shot Noctis a thumbs up. "I hope the king isn't too mad when he hears that I dented the Regalia too, Noct!" He let out a cry and took a huge swing at the car. His fist collided with a satisfying crunch sound, but he yanked back his hand and shook it. "Oww. Give a guy some warning before signing him up to break a hand. You all made it look so easy..."

"If everyone's to blame, we'll all go down together, is that it? That's kind of overkill, guys. It's just a car..." Noctis started but then paused, imagining how his father might act if several commanding officers had assumed responsibility for a grave insult against a rival nation. Maybe this was a small-scale conflict—King Regis versus the punks who smashed up his best car—but it was clear his friends were taking this as seriously as any royal trial. "But anyway, let's get going. I'm sure my father has some things to say to all of us." He plopped into the back seat and relaxed against the smooth leather. "Maybe next time we just take it to a shop before we get it home, though? I mean, I just thought of that."

A jolt ripped through the crowd as the realization set in, everyone's faces dropping at once.

"Ah... yes. Well," Ignis stammered out, "We could have... right."

"I thought of that actually. I figured you guys had probably already thought of it right away, and then maybe decided not to go with that plan, so I didn't want to push it, y'know?" Prompto said through a clenched smile. “But yeah, a mechanic could definitely work.”

"So... Do we have time to hit the nearest shop before we're due at the Citadel, Ignis?" 

Gladiolus was suddenly sweating, although it was a mild day out.

Ignis pressed his temples with frustration from the driver's seat. "We'll go immediately. I trust we can all agree the king never hears about this?"

"Oh, sold."

"Well obviously."

"Yup."

The agreements rang out and the team spent the drive over to the garage swearing up and down that the Regalia was never going to be damaged under their watch again. That is, if the king ever let them use it with his blessing. A few orders to the Citadel staff and the Regalia would be discreetly shined up, refilled, and parked right where King Regis left it. If the king knew of his son's exploits, he didn't let on, and the boys would go on to tell this story around the campfire years later on their journey to Tenebrae.